From the Desk of the Ombuds: On Civility
A significant number of matters that walk through the Ombuds door relate to interpersonal dynamics. You have been spoken to harshly, you have been frozen out of meetings, your decision-making has been questioned or even derided.
With all of the uncertainty and turmoil swirling around national policy-making, we might be tempted to ask ourselves, “Are any of my reactions important? What does it matter if my feelings are hurt?”
It matters.
Because the way you are treated in the workplace affects not only your spirit and drive, it affects those around you and those whom you encounter. Our emotions are infectious.
Not only that, incivility is expensive. Harvard Business Review published the results of research on the effects of workplace incivility. It found that, of those working in rude, abusive, or disrespectful environments:
- 48% intentionally decreased their work effort.
- 47% intentionally decreased the time spent at work.
- 38% intentionally decreased the quality of their work.
- 80% lost work time worrying about the incident.
- 63% lost work time avoiding the offender.
- 66% said that their performance declined.
- 78% said that their commitment to the organization declined.
- 12% said that they left their job because of the uncivil treatment.
More recently, SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) – which is another organization that studies workplace productivity and behavior – issued its annual Civility Index Research Report, stating that 44 percent of US workers believe that incivility will worsen in 2025 and 25 percent of workers say they will leave their jobs because of it.
Here at PC, there are a number of initiatives that take a proactive posture toward creating a civil and respectful environment. Did you know, for example, that there is a civility statement within the Faculty Handbook? It states:
As a community we are rigorously dedicated to the search for truth – Veritas, our motto and inspiration – and as such welcome diverse backgrounds and perspectives from all members of our community. We aim to cultivate an intellectual climate characterized by mutual respect and healthy disagreement. We condemn favoritism, the use of patronage, intimidation, and all forms of abuse of power. Finally, in all of our interactions we should conduct ourselves without hostility, willful misrepresentation, or personal insults as we strive to become a collegial community that respects the viewpoints of all its members, even when those members disagree. We expect all members of our community to embrace and promote civility while opposing all forms of devaluation of personal dignity.
The College also houses an Office of Institutional Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, and the Dialogue, Inclusion, and Democracy Lab, as well as other student-facing projects. In other words, treating others with respect and dignity is not only expected at PC, it is demanded.
And yet, human nature being what it is, mistakes will happen.
When you bring a matter of interpersonal distress to the Ombuds, one of the first things we discuss is whether you wish the Ombuds to bring your complaint to the other party and, if so, whether you wish to remain anonymous. While there is a greater chance of behavioral change if the counterpart can hear about specific examples, there will be times when you believe that the stakes are too high to “go public.” Even without naming names or particular examples, having the Ombuds articulate generalized concerns often will result in the counterpart asking how they might do better.
If this level of intervention does not bring about the desired results, other methods may include bringing a workshop on civility and respectful dialogue to your department (a workup on this deliverable is forthcoming to the Ombuds website) and/or to mediate your concerns within a session that the Ombuds will facilitate.
If you are the person on the other side, and you are approached by the Ombuds with an inquiry about a relationship or interchange, please take it seriously. While I am often constrained in providing names/dates/places, I would not seek you out but for some level of urgency in the matter. By putting aside defensiveness or denial, we could work together to formulate a plan on how to put matters to right. After all, a congenial environment is to everyone’s benefit in the end.
